Miss Piggy the Hero

My best friend's sister is full of wisdom.  Her truths are so acute, and so simple, that they seem almost child-like.  But the simplicity only makes her truths more potent.

Miss Piggy should be every girl's hero.  She bold, she's powerful, she knows what she wants and actively pursues her desires, she is beautiful, confident, glamorous, and perfectly happy with her weight and her danishes.

An' she don't take trash off-a nobody.

She tells you when you're wrong, demands your respect and still calls her loverboy "Kermie, darling."

Miss Piggy is feminine and strong. And despite being a little selfish, she still always aims for the greater good.

I found this excellent quote (overlaid upon an excellent 1980-something photo) on the internet:

10 Things I forgot about Utah

This December, I went to Utah to visit my family.

There are several things I totally forgot about Utah, that I remember now.

1. It's FREEZING COLD.

I was all layered up, and looking ridiculous at the Long Beach airport, and then I boarded the plane. I was freezing the whole flight, my dude was freezing the whole flight, then we landed, and I physically felt the flight attendants open the airlock.  It's like those movies where a shock-wave whooshes across the planet--only in a Delta commuter plane.

2. Nose crunchies

In cold temperatures, your nose automatically starts running within five seconds.  You re-enter a warm space, and suddenly all the snot dries up suspended by your nose-hairs, like the dwarves in Desolation of Smaug:

And then, the snot becomes hard and sometimes sharp: nose crunchies.

3. Driving in snow

More specifically how  to drive in snow.  It took me awhile to remember, and it didn't help that our rental car was an automatic.  Manual transmissions are much, much easier to drive in snow.

4. Scarves are useful

They fill the gap between your coat and your neck, right where the wind sneaks in and tries to look at your underwear.  

Because yes, you will feel that invaded by the wind.  Because it is remarkably uncomfortable to have the freezing cold wind sneak through your clothes and get all up in yo' business.

5. The freeway is often fast

I live in LA right now, and the freeway is unusable during certain hours, but thousands of cars try to use it anyway.

Being in a place where the freeway is rarely congested, is pretty cool.

6. Humidifiers are necessities

See No. 2. Nose crunchies.

7. Nose bleeds

They happen if I do not have a humidifier running 24/7.  As in, if the humidifier is running 23/7, my nose will dry out, crack, and bleed profusely, in that single hour that the humidifier is not operating.

8. Churches and shopping malls are everywhere

They just are.  I do not know if there is a correlation.

If you tell anyone you are at the mall/church, they will inevitably ask which one, because there are so many.

9. Driving is a necessary evil

I think the main reason why Utah has the worst air in the United States is because it's so freaking cold.  It's unethical to make people walk in that insanity.  

10.  No fancy boots

If your boots do not have treads like a Tonka truck,  they will be nothing but futile against the ice that infests Utah every year.

Film Review: Beasts of the Southern Wild

"In a forgotten but defiant bayou community cut off from the rest of the world by a sprawling levee, a six-year-old girl exists on the brink of orphanhood. Buoyed by her childish optimism and extraordinary imagination, she believes that the natural order is in balance with the universe until a fierce storm changes her reality." -Amazon.com

I give this movie **** out of ***** (four stars out of five.)

I had no idea what this movie was about.  At first I thought is was going to be like "Where the Wild Things Are."

But pretty quickly, one realizes that it's very avant garde.

So basically, it is a little kid who is inches away from homelessness and orphanhood.  She's trying to explain to herself how the world works.

So basically, a child tries to tell her story.

It's cute and I cried.

It's weird at first, and there's still some things that my brain hasn't quite worked out.  I lived in the South for a while, so some of the things in there will make less sense to you, than they did to me.

Overall, I liked it.

But I'm still not sure why . . .

It is on my list of movies to watch when I want an excuse to cry.

THE END.

Valentine's Day 1996-2012

1996ish:

It was really cold, in West Jordan, Utah, on Valentine's day.  I think it may have fallen on a weekend or school holiday, because there were children everywhere running across the streets to deliver valentines in my neighborhood.  It was really sweet, and really, really cold.



1997ish:

My mom had made us valentines out colored construction paper and the paper lace doilies from All-a-Dollar.

I walked in on her making them at the dining room table, which didn't strike me as odd at the time, but realize now, that typically she would use the kitchen counter.

She whisked them away and listened to me say my peace about my brother pushing me down the slide or some such nonsense.

But St. Valentine's Day came and we exchanged candy and homemade valentines with our friends, and then Mom got out valentines for us, and told us to open all of them at the same time.

We opened them up and in them was written a poem, which I still remember quite clearly:

"Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Icecream is good,

And I'll take you."

I was processing the information, but before I could even get to the point of illumination, my mom had her keys in her hand and said gleefully "Let's go!

"Go where?" was said by one of us.

"To get ice-cream!" My mom replied.

"Oh. That makes sense."

And away we went.  One of my favorite valentines, ever.




2010-1998ish:

A blur.


2011: Valentine's Day in China

We went to downtown Changzhou on Valentine's day.  I didn't know that Valentine's day was observed at all in China, but it certainly was.

The flower shops had enormous, displays out front, all the displays individually were lovely, but from a distance they did look a little gaudy.

There were men everywhere carrying large bouquets, the most popular were glitter-tipped roses.

Most of them were red roses dipped in silver, red, or pink glitter.

Most of them were wrapped in the patterned cellophane we're used to seeing here in the States.

There were a few fancy fabric and feather bouquets, and very popular were stuffed animal bouquets as well.  (For more about Chinese Valentine's Day, click here.)  (Click there also for a totally awesome comic I drew.)

But for the first time ever, I wanted roses from someone special.  I wanted glitter roses, but still, I felt the need to have someone in my life give me flowers.  Previous to this, I had just enjoyed Valentine's day for the candy and craft time.  Never before had I had a desire for a significant other on Valentine's day.



2012:

I sort of had a boyfriend.  We were dating exclusively without the constraints to date exclusively.

Meaning: we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but refused to admit it to anyone.

I had to drop him off at the airport later that night, so we got takeout, and sat in his room and laughed about 3rd world bathroom facilities and told the worst poo stories ever.

And it was so awesome that I eventually married him.

That night, I dropped him off at the airport, and when I got home to my apartment, waiting for me was a vase of pink roses, and a box of chocolates.

Hi! From Shang-Hai

I would like to thank those of you that emailed me while I'm here in China.  My dear friend Teekay has been kind enough to post my blogs for me, because theChinese government apparently doesn't believe in Google.


For those of you interested in flight info, I flew from SLC to LAX 1.5 hours, then to Seoul, Korea 14 hours; then to Shang-Hai 1.5, then a three hour bus ride.  There were layovers between each flight ranging from 2-3 hours each.  My travel time totaled to 28 hours.

Just know that it is the most bizarre thing to know that you fell asleep on the night of Wednesday February 9, and wake up on Friday, February 11. So weird.  So weird.

But, after arriving in Shang-Hai in the morning, we drove 3 hours to our little school in Chang-zhou (Chawng-Jow.)

I remember very little of this event, as I tried to sleep some on the bus, except that the city kept going and going and going.  In Star Wars episodes I, II and III they hold 'congress' in this place where the whole planet is a city.

That is what this Shang-Hai reminds me of.  Huge buildings just keep passing by.  You keep expecting it to end, but they just keep coming for hours and hours. I was looking out of the window of our bus and was so amazed by the sheer expanse of Shang-Hai.  I'm used to looking out the window and seeing theRocky Mountains framing the sky---even in Virginia, the Blue Ridge hills would breach the seam between earth and heaven. But here, the mountains seem to  be man-made. It's so strange to not be able to see some sort of wild, even without mountains towering over you, in places like Phoenix Nevada, at least you can see the untouchable desert.

Here, there are sky scrapers and apartment buildings.  The only way you can tell the difference from the outside is by the clothes hanging out to dry.  Apparently, clothes dryers are an absurd waste, and so the Chinese do not see the beauty of them.

People really do stare at Americans.  I went to the grocery store yesterday. There were these four teenage boys, probably ages 12-14, and they stared at us for quite a while at the grocery store, and followed our group around a bit.  We are apparently quite the novelty.

There were these two little tiny chubby asian brothers at the grocery store too. They were staring at us with their mouths were absolutely hanging open.  They looked even chubbier because they were all bundled up in winter coats that made them look like mini, red Michelin tire men. They were so cute!

Some of the surprises that greeted me were as follows: There are no traffic rules---honk if you plan on doing something crazy. Squatters really aren't that bad. So far. THE BUILDINGS ARE NOT HEATED.  Luckily, our room has a heater (that sucks.) The beds are shorter, I'm pretty sure.  They are also wider.  Top sheets are unheard of.  Mattresses don't exist---we sleep on foam pads about two inches thick, which are surprisingly comfortable.

We are rooming in twos. My roommate's name is Emily, and My next door neighbors are named Monica and Claire.

Well, the first night, Monica and Claire were testing adapters and blew their fuse.  This means that they do not have a heater anymore.  So, Emily and I put our beds together, and all four of us shared two beds, and 5 blankets.  We were the warmest people the first night.  Pretty sure.

We woke up on Saturday morning to the sound of fireworks.  We are here for Chinese New year.  This year is Year of the Rabbit.  All the buildings are decked out in red and gold on the inside.  I'm not sure whether that is just the way it is, or if they do that especially for New years.  

We went to a Chinese grocery store, which was really cool, they have ramp escalators inside.  Oh, and the grocery store is not heated on the inside.  Neither is the shopping mall.  All the buildings are cold.  Oh, and they have a huge meat section.  They sell poultry with the heads still on, and in the seafood section, they have squid, octupi, live eels, and the biggest surprise: live bullfrogs.

Another funny adventure in the Chinese mall.  I had a bunch of Asian teenagers ask to take pictures with me.  One of them was so excited to meet an American, I was worried she was going to pass out.

It was a lovely adventure, and I've been pretty daring with the food, I've tried several things that I had no idea what they were.

My water heater does not work, and I have not showered since Wednesday. I type this on Sunday, so I have not showered for four days.  (Yes, 4, I didn't live on Thursday.) 

For church, our group met together and since all of us happen to be LDS, we had our own mini-sacrament meeting.

The power keeps going out, which is annoying---especially since I was surprised to find out that I am among the few people who knows how to flip a breaker.

I am supposed to start teaching classes, not tomorrow Monday, but Monday next.  I'm super excited to meet the cute little Chinese kids. :D

I am going to go back to my very cold room---where there is no internet.

September at SVU

Friends and Family:  Thank you for reading my blog!  I hail you from Buena Vista, Virginia!  It means 'beautiful view,' and though the spelling looks Spanish, the locals insist that it is a native American language, and that it is pronounced "Boonuh Vihstuh."  There is in fact a folk-story saying that the Confederates would know whether you were a Yankee or a friend by how you pronounced it.  If you say it wrong the locals get really offended---back during the Civil War they would have killed you. Fortunately for me, times and traditions have changed, but not the lovely view.

 I fricken' love my roommates!!! A total of ten lovely ladies (including myself) reside in my house, and amongst these 9 housemates, I have one roommate.  Her name is Jasmine (I call her Jazzy,) and her best friend Kayla is our couch dweller, along with our other house-mate's fiancee Gus.  Here is a picture of Kyrsten, myself, and Emily at the first school dance.  It was a 'Stoplight' dance: red is taken, yellow is complicated, and green is single; thus we are all wearing green.  Kyrsten is a pirate, I am a Jedi, and Emily is a Ninja Turtle.  We try very hard to not bring up the topic of Pirates vs. Ninjas.  We have lots and lots of fun.  My roommate Jazzy is in half my classes with me, and so we are sharing some books.  We also have lots of fun staying up late talking about mangas, anime, and lots of other fun stuff.

 One fun thing that I've done so far was dress up like a gangster in some of Emily's clothes.  A random neighbor suddenly walked in at the most awkward moment possible (about 15 seconds after this picture was taken.) He appeared to be a little confused. Most likely because I looked like a very skinny, 14 year old boy standing in the middle of a girl's dorm.

There are lots of crickets here, at first the din they make reminded me of rattlesnakes so much that hearing one about a foot away from my ankle gave me quite a fright.

People have been asking me about what the big differences between Utah and Virginia are.  So far, it rains a very little more often, my skin is not as offensively dry, there are more insects, and I caught my first firefly in a very long time last night. I got chased by the cops for dealing drugs, and almost got hit by a car.  Just kidding.  No cops, no drugs, no cars. One rather large difference is the size of insects.  I found this huge bug in my bathroom.  I had no idea what it was and took a picture before we killed it. (Its legs were twitching for 20 minutes after we killed it.) I found out it is called a House Centipede. I learned that you are not supposed to step on these bugs with bare feet, or their guts will sting your feet.

 This building to the left is called Durham Hall, and the majority of my classes are here.  The advantage to this is that it is very close to my apartment.  The disadvantage is that I cannot always remember which classroom I am supposed in and when.  But I try, and I do alright.  It is very convenient to roll out of bed, stumble across the street and into the classroom on time.  However, I have not yet had the chance to do that, and hope to avoid it.  A very nice young man (whose name I do not remember) was kind enough to take this picture of me.

 This is my mailbox.  My very empty mailbox.  Write me.

One University Hill Drive #5044
Buena Vista, Virginia 24416

See --> I'm sad, because I have no mail!

 There is a koi pond on campus.  With some very small koi.  I guess I am spoiled by the enormous koi fish at Thanksgiving Point.  Huge fish.  Huge.

 We went on a lovely little adventure this last week, it was really hot so we went to this precious little place called Panther Falls (I saw no panthers.)  When I first got in I was expecting to have the breath sucked from my ribs by the freezing water. I was greatly surprised to find that the water was pretty warm compared to Rocky Mountain Runoff Water. It was so pleasant!  I wish I had the one of all my roommates.  It was really fun, and there are natural rock slides and such.

I took this picture on our drive home.  Kudzu.  Just mountains and curtains of Kudzu draping over everything.  It was kind of creepy, but also completely breathtaking.  It made me really excited and I thought you all might like to see this.

I love you all, and wish you all well!  Happy Birthday to Dad, Nevin, and Becca in that order!