Tuesday, November 17, 2009

POEM!!!! What think you?

I wrote a poem. I'm taking suggestions.

If you could leap a mountain,
And dance upon the sea,
Fly across the starry sky
And catch the moon for me



That's all I have.
I wrote an ending that I hate, so I'm not going to post it. It is not complete though and needs some love. Let me know what direction it should take.

2 comments:

  1. were you to bring me such a gift
    the thing i would require
    would not be all the pretty things---
    your heart is my desire.

    ?

    What think ye? Do you like the direction, is it awkward? Is it unclear? Repeatitve?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Or maybe. . .

    I want not such resplendent gifts,
    The one thing I require
    Would not be all the pretty things
    Your heart my soul desire.

    ReplyDelete