Making Lists Makes You Feel Better

Making lists sometimes makes me feel better.

 To-do lists are not always one of these lists.  But sometimes, when I'm feeling really over-whelmed, I'll make one and realize that I actually only have three things to do.  In which case, I really do feel better.

Feeling down on yourself? I recommend making a list of things you've got going for you.  Here are some suggestions.

How you look:

You have unique, beautiful eyes.  I have never seen a set of eyes that I did not think were beautiful.
Do you have nice hair? Do you pull of being bald? Do you have a nice beard?
Do you have good-looking hands or perfect ears? I know I'm a hand person . . .
Everyone has at least five physically beautiful features.

Just remember, sometimes your most beautiful features are the ones you hate.  Anne of Green Gables abhorred her red hair and freckles, but Gilbert Blythe and many others always thought she was beautiful.  Be willing to accept that sometimes the things you dislike about yourself, are beautiful.

Good Habits:

What is a habit you are glad you have?

Do you eat healthy? Almost always brush your teeth?  Cook often instead of eating out? Keep a tidy bathroom or clean windows?

What is a habit you are glad you don't have? Glad you don't smoke, or don't smoke as often as you used to? Glad that you don't smoke indoors?  Glad you don't drink too much?  Glad you don't eat a ton of sugar? Glad you don't have a ton of caffeine? Happy that you don't have a cocaine addiction? Glad that you never swear in front of the kids?

What is a habit you are trying to change? 10 automatic points to you, for trying to better yourself! You are AWESOME. Trying to improve means that you are a person with the capability to grow.

You have skills.

Yes, you do.

Are you musical? Good at arithmetic, geography, English, or boardgames?  Are you flexible? Athletic? Good at bowling? Computer-savvy? Puzzles? Bi-lingual? Can you cook? Are you good with animals? Are you good with people? Can you multitask? Can you focus on one thing all the way through? Are you artsy or crafty? Are you a problem-solver?

Never say "I could never do that." when you see an awesome person doing something good.  Just remember, that if you practiced equally as much as a professional musician, you would be a professional musician.  If you exercised as much as an athlete, you would be an athlete.  Your body and mind are trainable.  Teach them.

You have a great personality.

Are you out-going? Are you loyal? Are you a good listener? Do you know almost everyone? Do you stick to your guns? Do you know when to compromise? Do you know when to apologize? Are you good at forgiving others? Are you open to new ideas? Do you like exploring new places? Are you a content person? Are you an ambitious person? Are you independent? Friendly? Conscientious? Kind? Impulsive?

Some of these personality traits are opposites, and in balance, all are good.  I repeat: all of these things are good personality traits.


Struggling?

Are you having trouble thinking of good things to say about yourself?  Make a different list.  This time, list traits you dislike about yourself.
The point of this exercise is for you too see your good traits, so don't abuse it!
No more than three traits at a time.  For example:

I am stubborn.
I am judgmental.
I am indecisive.

First, change the wording.

I feel stubborn.
I feel judgmental.
I feel indecisive.

Because like Anne of Green Gables, what you feel, isn't always what you are.  But it doesn't make your feelings any less of a reality, it just makes them more manageable.

Now, all negative personality traits are really just extremes of good personality traits. Sometimes, your worst qualities also double as your best qualities, for example:

Stubborn=>Steadfast
Judgmental=> Decisive
Indecisive=> Conscientious

Any good trait can go overboard. But conversely, a bad trait is only a good trait gone rogue.

The place where good qualities become bad qualities, is the place where good qualities allow wrong things to happen, or start wasting resources.

Someone who is steadfast about doing the wrong thing, becomes someone who is stubborn over things that don't matter, things that are neither right nor wrong, or things that they do not fully understand.

Someone who is decisive becomes judgmental when they make a decision that will negatively affect themselves or others, or makes decisions without enough information, then doesn't accept new information when it comes.

Conscientiousness becomes indecisiveness when making sure to look at all the options, takes up too much time.

But find the true trait.  The good trait before it becomes a bad one.

This good trait, this strength, is part of you, and in itself is a good thing. You are a good thing.

And don't you forget it.